Some thoughts on Hallmark

Valentine's Day is just about over, and I've done a fantastic job being single and happy (albeit sick) all day long. I have wonderful friends, a fantastic family, a bright future full of endless possibilities - and I think I'm a pretty cool person, too. My Valentines were my fellow single ladies, and myself. And I'm very okay with that. Romance will come when it comes.

That being said, I still feel like taking a few minutes to rant about Hallmark's Valentine's commercials this year. There were two main TV commercials that I saw enough times to want to shoot their marketing department, so let's re-hash them, shall we?

The first is a lovely, early morning shot of peaceful, sleeping children. Their loving mother is creeping around the house placing bizarre stuffed animals with notes and treats at the play tea table, on the nightstand, etc. The voice-over tells us, "Mornings are not for making beds. Mornings are for telling them how much you love them."

So Hallmark is telling mothers that, if they make their kids make their beds in the morning (or, heaven forbid, other chores), their kids will know that Mommy dearest hates them. Even setting aside the blatant "Your kids won't know you love them unless you buy these hideous stuffed animals for them and then put more crap in said stuffed animals" plug, this is a ridiculous idea. Yes, I hated making my bed when I was younger. I hated all chores. I still hate most chores. (Okay, all chores.)

But doing the few chores I had to do taught me how to clean. They taught me how to be a responsible adult (something I'm still learning). Mom and Dad making me make my bed did show their love for me - it showed that they loved me enough to teach me what I needed to know to grow up and be a real person, someone who isn't a total slob, someone who knows how to do hospital corners and has some standards of cleanliness.

Thanks, Mom and Dad. I'll make my bed before you come visit me this weekend.

Hallmark's second commercial is actually kind of sweet, and definitely less ridiculous. We see couples of varying ages - 30-somethings at a hockey game, 20-somethings on a bench, and even what looked like a high school couple somewhere. This voice-over informs the American public that "Valentine's Day is not about saying 'I love you.' It's about saying 'I love us.'"

This is adorable, and probably true on some level. For people with significant others, Valentine's Day is like another anniversary (which is why you shouldn't get married in February), a day to really look at that person who seems to complete you and truly appreciate who you are together.

That being said, this is quite possibly the commercial that wins the prize for "Most Likely to Make Singles Want to Strangle Couples." Really, Hallmark? The hearts and flowers and chocolates and mushy cards weren't enough? You really have to remind us that, as single people, we don't have an "us"? I mean, I'm okay with just having a "me" and not an "us", but I don't want that lack of an "us" shoved into my face every time I sit down to watch Cake Boss during dinner.

Luckily, Valentine's Day is over, and those commercials should logically be taken off TV. I'm going to enjoy the flowers and chocolate my fantastic friends gave me, and focus on myself. One thing's for sure, though - I will not be buying myself, or anyone else, a card made by Hallmark anytime soon. Take that, Hallmark!